Entering the darker time of the year

Has anything memorable been happening?
This morning we went down to the bathroom and there was a dead mouse in the toilet.  It was a bit shocking, but practically, it save us from trapping it.  Still pretty gross, and surprising because usually mice are in our kitchen, not the bathroom. Also, we haven't had a mouse problem in a while.  I guess its back.  Its that time of year. Ugh.

Other things?
My little star is re-entering terrible twos?  That's what it seems like; perhaps it has to do with turning four soon.  Perhaps its to repay me for suggesting that the psychologist was exaggerating when he said my son was hard to parent.  He's had a lot of meltdowns recently over... well... nothing aside from maybe he was hungry or needed to go to the bathroom.

He had his four year old checkup today in which we waited about forever in the doctors office- you know after the nurse takes you in so there are no toys and nothing to do except to keep your inquisitive little child from opening up the two biohazard waste containers in the room.   Little Star handled this as well as could be expected especially considering the day didn't exactly have him in the best of moods.  Our new doctor examined him for perhaps five minutes- the time it takes to check his ears, eyes, heart, tummy, and feet, tell him to climb on the examining table and jump.  I think I have everything here.  He told us the boy was he was healthy in the top ten percentile for height and weight.  I asked about hearing and eyes, so he conceded the nurse should check his eyes- he did fine on that, and that he didn't need hearing checked since we hadn't noticed any issues.

He explained what we would have noticed as issues, and I supposed he was right since yesterday I took little star to this very nice children's concert where he complained that the orchestra was too loud.  Stupid me, I sat near the front with him so he could really see the instruments.  Brainless.  Next time, into the balcony- maybe he won't remember that he didn't like it last time because it was too loud.  It really was a nice concert.

So about the doctor...the corporation, which is the American Health Network, or somebody in the practice has decided to keep us on with the practice and they are looking for a nurse practitioner to take our doctor's place.  Now, frankly, I don't really mind seeing a nurse practitioner most of the time- I don't have serious health problems, and if I did I'd probably have to see a specialist anyway.  But it does strike me as somebody just trying to save some money.  Or it could be no doctor in their right mind wants to live around here, so they might has well find somebody they can get.  

But that's not my main complaint- aside from them NOT NOTIFYING us that our doctor was leaving.  My main complaint is that I believe we are being kept on because our insurance is OK.  We think that's the only reason we got in to start with.  This situation is just so unfair, and I feel bad participating in such a system at all.  The office is also 25 minutes from our house.  If I had an acceptable alternative closer I would certainly take it.  Luckily they've just opened up an urgent care center near us.

The only thing,  I can say that's good about the idea of the American Health Network business, is that they give their doctors a salary so there are not these perverse billing/testing incentives...  Our new doctor also comes highly recommended from other moms I know.

Frankly, I wasn't that impressed.  He didn't ask me anything at all that I can remember, aside from if my son was caught up on vaccinations.  We do have concerns about our son's social growth.  I didn't bring them up because we are addressing it in other ways, but I remember last year I had a long talk with my doctor about it.  You might think they would ask if I had any questions or concerns- or maybe he would ask if the boy was potty trained- maybe he just assumed the kid was since he was wearing underwear and most kids are. He's making some progress on the potty training, but he's still got a long way to go, so I am still frustrated with it.

Oh, the other great news (that was meant to be sarcastic), we are accepting brine water from fracking in PA into injection wells in our county.  I learned that last night from our local paper.  We can only hope "brine" water is really all it is and that it won't be a problem.  And what did facebook have to tell me today? Our governor has decided to allow fracking in Ohio state lands- I forget exactly which lands the article mentioned.  Oh Yay.  At least there are no earth quakes here... yet.  And we still have power... so far.

I think my son's moods are affecting me... or mine was affecting his?  All things change in time.

The good news and my whining

So we got to meet with the psychologist to see if my son has autism or Aspergers or what; he observed my son last week.  Well, it wasn't really like I expected, but that's not a bad thing. He said my son definitely is not autistic, and explained why.  He said he didn't seem to have Aspergers... we at least not definitively- yellow flags not red ones.  So maybe at some future date that would be diagnosed, but there wasn't enough evidence now, and there were things that suggested he did not have it.  So, although he used the term "eccentric", I like the more common term, "quirky", to describe my son.   So this is excellent news to me- what it says to me is that my son won't need to continuously work around his basic wiring to deal with people.

But he did suggest there might be some problems we should address...

and this is what I totally didn't expect about it- he asked why when I left last time it took us like 15-20 minutes to get into the car.  I was like, "what???"  Now I can't really remember it much except that I may have let my little start play around with something before he got into his seat because we weren't exactly in a hurry and I don't mind him exploring stuff if we have time, but it couldn't have taken more than about five minutes- he'd drunk a lot of water and I did want to get him home before he had an accident.  Now admittedly, it does often take my son longer to respond to commands than is ideal, but I am quite sure that if it had been important that we leave quickly, I would have got him to leave in a reasonable amount of time.

The Dr. thinks that he has to learn to respond faster to commands (which is true- but I hardly think him getting into the seat in that particular instance has anything to do with it), and its not that he never does.  The Dr. kept saying these things implying that I just don't expect enough out of my son (my interpretation), that I'm one of these parents that allows him to get away with murder, make too many choices, and explains too much (my exaggeration).  Frankly, that I take it too intellectually and am not direct enough.

The Dr. kept giving these examples of other parents that were doing things I don't do (at least not more than once, when I 'm not tired, when I realize they are ineffectual- what I mean is, they are not parenting behaviors that I find useful even if I do slip into them sometimes- I KNOW they are not effectual, I don't need to be told)  And then he'd say what the thing the "good" parent did with an emphasis on giving consequence that I really don't think would be effective or nice- they were based on fear, which he then said he wouldn't advocate a fear based thing- so I wasn't sure he really understood what that meant or that he wasn't advocating these particular methods; he was just suggesting I didn't give consequences.  I do give consequences, they just aren't draconian, and they are meant to teach, not punish.  That is, if you don't do x I'll have to help you with it, or we won't have time for y, you'll have to get down if you can't x because its not safe, or we'll have to put this away because its distracting you.  And he does respond to these.

The Dr. implied with an example that if we went about our bedtime ritual- that is if we had one, it could be done in fifteen minute rather than an hour.  Sure it could (and yes we DO have a ritual and yes it does take a while- he kind of implied we didn't as if he's even asked us!), but then I wouldn't get to spend half an hour reading books to my child or spend fifteen minutes singing to him every night.  I like reading and singing to him and I think its good for him.  We don't, as consequence put him to bed too late, we just start earlier, and if he's stalling too much we read less stories- but I didn't tell Dr. any of this.  The Dr. did not give ONE example of a way of going about any particular thing that would in fact be helpful and be any different than what we have done- and he doesn't know what we do anyway.    And the meeting really wasnt' about specifics, I was just really annoyed by the tone of his thoughts, assumptions, and examples.

Basically, all I took out of it was that I am not assertive enough (he pretty much ignored my husband- who agrees)- and this part is true, but its actually something we are both working on and I think have actually made some positive changes lately.  He said my son was going to be difficult to parent and the usual strategies might not work as well.  Thanks for validating that.  I actually kind of thought that while he wasn't the easiest kid, I've certainly heard of worse problems, so I was counting my blessings that we don't have problems with aggression and lots of other evil things I've heard of.

Although the Dr. claimed he was not attacking my parenting, I sure felt it.  I felt like the parenting he wanted is kind of a crushing of spirit.  He said something like, it looks like your son is waiting to decide if he wants to do what he's asked... rather than just doing it.  Well, why shouldn't he decide, why should an adults request always trump his interests and needs?  I think the doctor assumes that my little one automatically should do what authorities ask him to do- that I should train him to do so- and he has a point- the kid does need to do what his teachers tell him to do whether he likes it or not or he'll get in trouble and not be offered opportunities- that is he has to learn the game.  I kind of thought he had learned just fine to respond to his teacher... until a few days ago.  The doctor suggested that peers don't want to deal with him because they are not skilled in doing it and they won't make that special one on one effort he responds to.  Probably true- a concern.

I kind of think I missed something... like is that all it comes down to- he doesn't respond properly to requests?  The Dr seemed to think that my little one behaved differently with him because he was more assertive and knew how to do it better- that our concerns didn't mirror what he saw, but I don't really know what he was referring to- it looked to me that my son stalled with him the same way he does with me.  He said the boy did multiple step tasks with him... as if he doesn't at home when he's not tired?  Of course he does, and he does at school too.  And that was not a concern of ours.   He didn't try potty training with the kid, and he didn't try face recognition, so he can't speak to these- our main concerns.

We talked a bit about him not recognizing people- the doctor seems to think its a just a matter of not remembering names- that not being salient and interesting to him- he thinks my little star probably really does recognize people just doesn't respond with a name.  I'm not too sure about that, but he suggested a way of testing it.  In any case it doesn't seem to be an indicator of autism, so I guess I should be happy.  Dr. doesn't seem concerned.

The doctor seemed to think other people were concerned about my son's social progress- ie there is a problem, and I tried to say that no, nobody was concerned, I asked for screening, I asked for observation, but it was like I had said nothing- after-all everyone had something to say and filled out the reports.

Well anyway, I really was glad to find that my little star doesn't have autism, probably not aspergers, and school is good for him.  And that maybe I was right that some early intervention would be good for him.

I just felt really crappy during/after the meeting.  The Dr. occasionally would sprinkle in things in the conversation that I'd never heard of, and I had to ask him what he meant.  I'm pretty educated, I've looked into this, took child development, pyschology, but I'm not an expert- that's why we went to him, so I don't expect to be talked down to, but I also don't expect him to throw in this jargon that I have to ask about.  I don't expect too many of his patients know more about it than I do, so I would think he'd know how to talk to us better.  I could have just sat there and listened knowingly, rather than asked what he meant and feel stupid that I don't.  That would have been easier, but I was feeling pretty ornery and I do what to know exactly what I'm supposed to know about my son.

Everyday life and thoughts on the "Christmas walk"

I figured I should post something, but I haven't had a profound thoughts or experiences lately.  This is how it went this week: Some days I stay home with my little star where we maybe go on a short adventure/errand, or spend some time outside in the morning.  Since we are still working on potty training we never go far.

Afternoons are taken up with trying to make nap happen.  If lunch begins around noon, nap tries to begin slightly after one, but then it gets delayed for extra potty trips, and suddenly it is two o'clock.  If we are lucky, nap lasts two hours.  If not, nap lasts one hour.  Still there is not much time for anything interesting to happen before dinner time.  The next day little star goes to play care.  Those days, for some reason he sleeps later, we get to play care after 10 am, and somehow he manages not to take a nap there.  I go to the gym, eat lunch, do some errands, check out some internet stuff, maybe mow the lawn, work on dinner, and its time to pick him up.  Occasionally I actually get some work on my project accomplished- often on the one day I skip the gym.  

This week I worked on the business plan, but had to quit when the question of location cropped up.  And then today I noticed the nearest new children's museum is able to offer family yearly memberships for $95, very affordable, and I don't think we can match it unless we get a lot of families.  And that seems to be the crux of my worries about it.  I just have no idea how many people will come.   I want to open up soon on one hand, on the other hand, I want to have lots more people organizing.  I wrote up all the responsibility of the half time paid director- all the payment I think we can afford, and the job is way more than that- it also should pay more.

Funny thing is, we have grant money.  Right now.  And I'm feeling more worried about the project than ever.  The next big event we should be at is the "Christmas Walk."  Its like a first friday event, all the down town merchants are open and there are fun activities for kids and freebies and stuff.... and Santa.   Personally, I think even having a public event called the "Christmas" walk is insensitive at best, offensive at worst.  I'm sure it doesn't occur to organizers that not only are some people not Christian and don't celebrate or enjoy Christmas, but that they find this celebration to be excluding them.  And I'm sure for the tiny number of non-Christians who care, our lack of participation won't make any difference to the merchants.   Perhaps there are Christians who also would rather that it wasn't celebrated in such a commercial way as well.

Thinking carefully about how they could do this event better, I have to admit that honestly it wouldn't make me that much happier if they called it a Holiday walk or something non-christian when they really DID mean Christmas. At least they are not equating Chanuka (a small non-bibical holiday) with Christmas.   A title that is used for a different non-religious event in Ithaca is "Light in Winter". I like that.  I like "Harvest Festivals"- nothing religious about that- every culture has a harvest.  How about "gift walk", "Autumn shopping", "Preparing for winter," "Lighting the night..." "Downtown celebration...".  And then people would complain we were taking Christmas spirit away from the "holiday season".  To be honest, non-christians often have to buy stuff for our Christian brethren or relatives, but still would rather it was called something related to the time of year or gift giving rather than "Christmas" that feels so exclusive.

In any case, since this is the big event, despite its name, our organization should be there, but it probably won't be because I will be out of town- its the Sunday just after Thanksgiving.

Halloween, birthday party, potty training and stuff

For the record, this halloween, I gave kids a choice between some Halloween party favors- plastic black and also white bats, sticker sets, and ms&ms, and then I offered a gourd for everyone since I have so many. Perhaps a third to half of kids chose something other than candy.  The bats were a total hit, and I supplemented with party favor gel pens when I ran out of bats.  When I didn't say choose one, kids usually went for the candy- or took both or took more candy. Just about everyone , including some parents were happy to pick a gourd.

My little star didn't want to go trick or treating... perhaps I explained it wrong, but he said that too much candy wasn't good for you. I smiled and agreed.  I have told him that, but I haven't exactly forbidden candy.  I just don't keep it in the house.  However, if we are out and he is offered candy, I certainly let him try it.  He seemed to like it when the kids came, and at one point got together some paper clips to offer.

This weekend we went to this birthday party that was held an hour away at a farm tourist market- that is they had farm touristy fun things there.  They had hay bales in a maze in a large hoophouse with ropes and swings hidden; they had a hoop house with a huge pit of corn, toys, and a slide.  They had a bouncy house.  They had a hoop house dedicated partly to decorating pumpkins.  

Another hit was a tractor train- a tractor pulls little barrels with seats, one for each kid.  My son HAD to ride on this, and when he finally got to do it, I got worried because, he didn't seem to understand until it left that I couldn't go with him.  It went a little too fast for me to follow, and it went kind of far away.  He left looking distressed and got back distressed.  The driver said he was happy in the middle, but I felt really sad that I had let him go.  I'm not even sure why I thought it was really safe- they weren't even wearing seat belts, and that tractor, like I said, was not slow enough for me to keep up with.  The kids could have tried to climb out... really, I was really glad when he returned.  I asked if it had been fun or he'd been scared, and he said scared.  Then again, he wanted to do it again.   We also had a hay ride, and there were goats and a miniature horse.   So the place was really nice... except the porta potty's.  Actually you couldn't have nicer cleaner porta pottys, but my little star was not going to use one!

And the party- well, it was a little fast paced- one activity to another where my little star could have spent a long time on each, and a complete meltdown when I found it out it wasn't "time" for the party to be taking the tractor ride when my little star wanted to- I'd even let him get in by then.  Perhaps there wouldn't have been a melt down if they had served food at the party.  Can you imagine having a party from 12:00-2:00 (and almost an hour drive to get there), and not serve LUNCH?  They just had cake- and that was well after 1 pm.  My little star licked the frosting and got it all over him.  Aside from that issue, it really was a pleasant place for the kids to play.  The little girl received gifts, most of them barbies.  We gave books, unlike everyone else.  The mother told me twice that the little girl loved books, but I can't tell if she was just saying that, but it was nice.

A nice unexpected thing about the party was that aside from the cake and purple drink, they did not give out any sweets.  I was expecting big candy halloween theme from the invitation that requested costume wearing, but this did  not happen.   Every other party we've been at kids have been given a bag containing some candy.

Oh, did I mention my little star wants a birthday party now?

So, how do I make sure its at a reasonable time (ie not nap time, and if its during meal time, providing a meal!), and have enough room to have a big play date... our house is  big enough for about three kids (including mine) and their parents, and we've already been to three parties of kids that are not necessarily his best friends (OK, my kid doesn't really have friends, so lets say my best friends- Ok, I don't really have best friends locally, but there are other people I'd want to invite.)  I'm totally understanding the having birthday parties some place out of the house that you pay a stack of money to rent out... that exist an hour away- we don't have anything here that I know of.

On the potty training score (if you want to read about that)...well he got messy underwear this weekend at breakfast after a messy diaper in the morning, part of three messy diapers in a row in the mornings, but he also managed to use the toilet at Wendy's- we had to go there after the party to get something to EAT rather than letting him fall asleep in the car.  At that point he had not peed in about four hours and it took him about an hour on the toilet, promise of sticker, and lots of water for it to happen.  Eventually we found the "pee switch".  I held my cool.  I figured I could wait as long as it took because I was NOT going to drive an hour with him in desperate need of peeing- and likely to fall asleep.  Additionally, he's also managed to use the toilet at home most of the time, and figured out how to poop into it-the stickers do seem to be of some interest, but I don't think he would do it just for a sticker if he really didn't want to try it. I say this because we tried stickers earlier and he was not interested, sticker or not.. He even managed to use the toilet to poop at playcare today... we think... and not take a nap.  So perhaps some progress?

After play care today, his teacher explained that my little star had a melt down before lunch today- he was exhibiting classic stalling behavior- apparently a new thing at playcare, but very common at home recently.  As far as I can tell, the teacher and I treated it the same way, so I feel better.  I thought it had to do with me not being assertive enough, or not treating it properly.  I assure you his teacher is assertive enough and is very good at knowing what to do.

My little star slept until 8:30 this morning.  Is it darker- yes.  Is he going to bed too late? maybe.  In any case we are having trouble getting out in the morning, partly because he doesn't want to go anywhere- especially playcare.  He'd rather be home with mommy.

Along with a ton of stalling, he also is starting to say thank you when I do something for him without any prompting.  Well, that feels nice!

Carrots and positive attribution

I think I've said how useless my garden is this year.  Still occasionally I bring something in that makes me happy.

These carrots are really big and fat.  I've almost given up growing carrots altogether.  Its not that much effort to plant a row or two of them, and if they happen to germinate, and I pay attention, thin them.  The things is, they are usually so small and weird that it seems like the effort to peel them hardly is worth the amount of carrot you get to eat.  These carrots that I just harvested are worth it.  Does that mean I need terrible conditions for the rest of my garden to get good carrots?

Here's the rest of the harvest:

You see there are a few small heads of broccolli, some green onions, a little parlsey, and in addition to the big orange carrots, some of the usual and a few yellow ones.  The yellow ones seem really weak, and I had to dig them out.

Well, at least the carrot size was impressive.

In other news...
Another parenting class (we are being trained to use Conscious Discipline) we learned about using the "skill" of "positive attribution"- that is you attribute positive motives to people's (your child) actions.  I've tried to do that quite a lot as as I get older, but somehow I missed out on a key aspect of this proposition.   The point is, not that you judge people in a good way- as I thought I was doing.  The point is that YOU STOP judging.  By giving them a positive motive, it allows YOU to treat them well, and doesn't matter at all what their actual motive was in the first place.  I never thought of it like that.  Its very powerful.

So, the food they served us for dinner at these classes is well, you know, institutional.  It's usually OK if you are not expecting vegetarian or gourmet.  This week,  however, it was pretty terrible- even the cake.  They had this chilli- like how can you mess up chilli?- but it just wasn't any good.  My son apparently ate mashed potatoes- he woke up so late from his nap that I didn't get a chance to give him a snack.  He didn't eat anything else, but it was nice to know he actually ate mashed potatoes.  In any case, he said he was hungry so we decided to feed him (and ourselves) when we got home, so he didn't get to bed very reasonably.

He was in this great mood the next morning after sleeping until 8 am!  When I picked him up from playcare I found him kind of in a crazy state.  He had not napped, and had not apparently eaten lunch (not liking the food, presumably), filled up on animal crackers at snack and not touched the apple (apparently he likes it peeled as I do at home.  I know how pesticide laden apple orchards are).  I don't think the animal crackers really agreed with him for he kept saying his tummy hurt until what finally came out of him almost clogged our toilet this afternoon.  I don't know why they serve animal crackers for snack, or why they would let him have as much as he wants without eating real food, but  anyway, I like his teacher and all.

not stomach flu and birthdays

We had this too-much-fun day on Saturday (me and my little star- my husband was too tired and overworked).   First we went to a Birthday Party at a mom's friend's house.  The little boy is only two... but that kind of makes him on par with little star socially I think.  Anyway, he was pretty excited about it even when I told him there would be no bouncy house like the last one he was at.  The part was low key- it was like a big play date- all the parents- even the fathers were all there, the kids were little so they mostly just hung out and played.  My little star got lots of junk food- not like candy, just teddy grahams, gold fish, crackers- really his favorite stuff.  He wasn't interested in the chili or some shredded cheese, but he also didn't even want to try a cupcake which had pretty appetizing frosting on it.

My little star predictably fell asleep in the car on the way home.  So I parked him in the driveway- the weather was nice to do this in, and went in the house, checking his status every so often. Well, I think I must have missed his wake up because he was very upset when I checked.  He's been napping in the car a lot this year, so I'm not quite sure why it upset him so much- he's never been upset before if it took me a few minutes- it takes him a while to awaken fully usually.  I felt pretty bad about this, perhaps I should stay with him next time.

Anyway, after a potty stop (he refused to use it even though I brought his own at the party) we headed off to the harvest festival, where he had a good time despite waiting pretty much forever for a "hay" ride.  He did awfully well waiting- I let him snack on some cheese, and he quite enjoyed the ride.  I really think we shouldn't have waited that long- kind of a ridiculous waste of time, but little star didn't really seem to mind much.  He also didn't want to run off from me to play with three of his "friends" from preschool who were within sight, but far across the field.  At the festival my little star, aside from the cheese I brought from home, ate exactly three pieces of candy- two gummy bear type things and one jelly bean.  I didn't foresee any problems.

The next morning my husband made us waffles- he always does this and they are really good.  My little star ate the waffles though more slowly than usual, and didn't touch the cheese I gave him to supplement- though he did eat some banana.

My little star seemed very tired that day even with just hanging around inside, so I gave him lunch of which he didn't eat as much as I expected, but enough, and I got him to nap.
After our nap ( I got one too- I have some sort of evil cold thing), I knew I had to do some lawn mowing, but that little star seemed too tired come outside without a meltdown.  Lawn mowing, because our batteries are dying takes about two ten minute intervals with the batteries, so I let him play inside while I did it.  He was fine after the first ten minutes- wow no melt down.  He was listening to his favorite tape "The Civil War".  I finished off the batteries, and he was fine when I came back in.  He was so fine- he lay there on his now favorite blanket that he must have with him, listening to his tape.  I began cooking dinner.

We've started with a timer to help make potty time more.... enforceable?  So anyway the timer went off and he went to the potty.  He said his tummy felt funny, and I said it would probably feel better after he used the potty.  So he sat on it; I went to put the pressure regulator on our pressure cooker.  I came back and he'd vomited... and then did it again.   What??  Did he have stomach flu?  Not that again!  He didn't eat anything funny TODAY... yes he had some other stuff yesterday, but that was a long time ago. Was I going to come down with it too?  Oh no, and don't we have this appointment with the psychologist about him tomorrow?  I can't send him to daycare with stomach flu!

On the plus side- he did it IN the BATHROOM, and not on the carpet, and not while I was outside.  Really this could have been a lot worse.  He didn't want to eat dinner and I did not encourage him.  He went to sleep early.  He slept through the night.  I went into him in the morning, and he began talking about "oil poop"- I think that's loose stool to him-and he did have a messy diaper.  Grr.  I thought we were done with that, but he had one the day before as well- not loose stool, but I was prepared for it this morning because if you have a stomach virus, it comes at both ends.

So I changed the diaper, and it was, lo and behold, not loose.  And he wanted to eat breakfast.  Maybe I could send him to playcare.  We started with half a banana, waited a bit, he seemed fine.  He ate the other part of breakfast.  He seemed fine, and I sent him to daycare... because really how much are they going to charge me for canceling an appointment (our first) at the last minute?  We barely got there on time.  We chatted with the guy and of course still know nothing because he has to see little star next week to really tell us anything.

I learned from the psychologist that a difference between Aspergers and high functioning autism is that kids with Aspergers wants friends and has them in the beginning but give up up on it later because they are not good at and have had bad experiences, but high functioning autistic kids never really wanted friends to begin with.  I'm really not sure where little star would fall (if he's even on the spectrum at all).  I asked him if he wanted a birthday party with other kids this evening and this time he said YES.  I asked him what the kids would do at his party... but he said they would poop (a word that is constantly in his speech lately.  I don't think he's thinking this through exactly- but he is enjoying the parties..even if he's not really playing with the kids.

I think they told him not to talk about it (poop) at school.   He said "don't use poop work" (I think he meant words). That surprised me since its actually developmentally pretty normal to do at his age.  Then again, it wasn't his lead teacher... if I can trust what he said (not really), but I'm pretty sure who would have said it, and if I think of it, I'll ask.  And, to be fair, I'm very tolerant, but after a while, even I get tired of this topic of conversation.

When I picked up little star at the end of the day today he was fine.  I am so relieved, no stomach flu.  Though... I still don't know why he was sick- was it really the party food and three pieces of candy.  I really didn't think what he ate was that bad... and why would it take so long to be problem?

And the other troubling thing... the psychologist informed us that our family doctor was taking another position in the county- one I'm really glad he is filling, but how can we possibly find ANOTHER doctor- he is our third one we've lost in our six years here.  My son has already had two different ones and he's not even four yet- and it wasn't easy even finding a good doctor that was taking patients.  It means another appointment to meet a new doctor.

Really, some people have a lot bigger troubles.  At least we have health insurance- did I mention my son never got enrolled in a dental plan, and we didn't know it until after we took him to the dentist.  Although we do have to pay for this... I'm not sure we've really lost anything by not paying premiums for almost four years and then paying for one cleaning.  We've just been lucky his teeth are good.

First try at mayo and cuddly things

I really really wanted mayonnaise with some leftover canned fish we have sitting around.  We've been getting tins of kippers- low on the food chain, sustainably caught and all that. We ran out of mayonnaise a few days ago, and the fish needs to be eaten already.  I thought there must be some kind of substitute that would serve the purpose, but ended up trying to make it.  It was surprisingly easy.  Despite putting in more salt than I meant to, it did end up tasting like it was supposed to- though it seems more runny than it should.  Anyway, I was satisfied that making my own was easier than expected, and seemed to work.  My one concern relates to the fact that I don't usually use raw eggs, so I hope there is no evil bacteria to worry about.  Maybe I'll try improving on my technique next time.

My little star is surprising me- he seems to be getting into his stuffed animals.  He's always had some, and sometimes takes them to bed, but its little more than passing interest.  Last night he was finding some animals he hadn't looked at in months, covering them up in blankets, and this morning he took one to school for show and tell... along with his blanket.  He's never really been into a particular blanket either except the kind you wear to bed.  Recently he's become very attached to a particularly soft lavender blanket I got for him before he was born... or soon after.  He keeps telling me how its cozy, puts in on himself, and brought it too school today.  I always thought it would help him to have a security lovey, blanket, animal, and always brought familiar things on trips, but really, he's never been that interested as far as I could tell.  Maybe things are changing.... but maybe now he's a little old for that?  Anyway, I like watching changes like this and wondering what it means about his development.